Wednesday, July 09, 2008

St. Joe, The Ultimate Real Estate Agent

We've not been too happy with the agent we hired to sell Mom's house. She talked a great game, but that seems to have been all she's got going for her. I think we need intercession of a divine kind. So, meet our new agent - St. Joe!
As you can see, his commission is much more reasonable and all we have to do is bury him in the yard, beg for help and get out of the way. The part about this that surprises me is that my ultra conservative Methodist mother wants it done. She's worried that maybe God will be p.o.ed , but she wants to try it. Why not? Maybe it only works for Catholics? Do you have to have saint credits or something before it works?
Did you ever hear of St. Joseph selling your house? One place says bury him upside down in the front yard, another says bury him right side up facing the house in the back yard, another to do a salt cleansing ritual( christian, right? ) and then bury him exactly 3 inches or 12 in the front right corner.... heck, even the instructions that came with him gives you about 3 different ways to get him working for you.
Then, when your house is sold, if the buyers are nice to work with you leave him in the ground and if they're nasty you dig him up and bean them on the head with him. Not really,I made that part up. Hey, if you want to buy your own St. Joseph, SuperAgent, check out this site, where his commission is even less than what we had to pay locally. We're in a hurry at this point, so we opted out of mailing.

Personally, I think maybe St. Jude might have been a better choice.


Chia said...

I've heard of this before. I think a lot of people give it a try. Who knows.

I have a friend that swears if she says a little prayer (Tommy, Tommy come around..) to St. Thomas that lost things will be quickly found.

They may all know something I don't but I suspect this little figurine should have been named St. Straws. ;-)

Wendy said...

St. Straws..hahha.. love that. My own little prayer is :Goddess Asphalta,full of grace, now I need a parking space. It works 9 out of 10 times.

Kira said...

St. Straws is a riot!

Anonymous said...

What happens when you sell the house and go to dig him up and he is breech? What do you think you would need to do then?