Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Yoda In My Tarot Deck

 There's been plenty of daily drama lately in my life, both personally and professionally. Some people might find that stimulating. Not me. I find it exhausting and overwhelming. It tends to paralyze me and I become mired in the stickiness of it all. My brain goes numb and I pretty much become a zombie on autopilot.  I've been feeling that way for a long time.  

When I'm really entrenched in the ooze, I reach for my tarot cards. Before today I couldn't have said that, but my laser focused daughter pointed this out to me with all the delicacy she could muster. She was right. This is what I do. Always.  And true to form, that's just what I did yesterday. It's been a very long time since I shuffled a deck. But it's like riding a bicycle and my hands remembered what to do even if my brain wasn't fully tuned in yet.

I shuffled the cards with this question in mind: What is causing me to feel stuck in my life? I suppose I shouldn't have been at all surprised that the first card I've drawn for myself in about five years should be the 8 of Swords.  Eight is "my" number. Check.  Swords is about air and action. It's also about what going on in your head; how you use or don't use your intelligence. Swords are also about making decisions. Uh, yeah, check. 

Take a look at the card. What you see is a forlorn woman, eyes covered, arms bound. She's standing in the mud surrounded by swords. Far behind her is the security of home. We can't tell if she's on her own by circumstance or choice, but it doesn't seem to matter. She's trapped and feeling powerless.  

Indecision, confusion and fear are the main messages to me with the Eight of Swords. It's passive, she stands alone, frightened, overwhelmed and surely she's wondering how the heck she got in this situation. Things weren't suppose to be this way. Cut off from everything, there is nothingness.  Does that mean that maybe she's had a hand in either becoming or staying a prisoner? Has the nothingness implied by the sensory deprivation of being blindfolded and bound actually become a comfortable cocoon for her? 

Because she's so absorbed with her thoughts, she's not even noticing that there is a space between the sword where she might escape. Despite the sadness of the Eight of Swords, it's important to remember that there are always choices. She could struggle against the bindings and free herself. Then she could remove the blindfold and see her options....see the possibility of carefully stepping between the swords that are trapping her. It's not easy, but something could be and must be done. 

So what's the answer to my question? What's behind my malaise?  Tarot doesn't always tell a pretty  story, but it's always telling the lesson you most need to hear. It's a pretty big smack in the head... good lord woman, get out of your head! Stop thinking about limitations. Make a decision. Take an action. Any action is better than inaction. 

It's like Yoda says, "Do or Do not. There is no try."

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