Fall Equinox- Moving Forward

The fall equinox always feels like renewal to me. I tend to wither in the heat of the summer and September always finds me starting new projects. Big things tend to happen to me in the early fall. Today I have drawn one card from the Aquarian Tarot for a message on what do I need to attend to for the next three months to move forward.

My first reaction to this card, Judgement, was a big HA! Two days ago I had a fairly big disagreement with my mother about being so judgemental. I believe we're all judgemental at our essence level. It's the ability we tap into as we accept some idea and cast away others. But it tends to get out of hand and becomes a powerful negative attribute. It also happens to be one of the things I'm working hardest on to release in my own spiritual work. And skeptics might say Tarot has no relationship to anything.

In this beautiful card, I'm first drawn to the angel sounding a clarion call. The banner hanging from the horn reminds me of battle standards. The sun is peeking up behind the clouds, illumination at the brink of daybreak. All of these symbols are telling me that it is time to let go of the uncertainty that's been clouding my mind. Something big is calling to me, it's time to stop looking behind me, stop the self examination and step up into what is my true self. There is a time to dwell on the past (hopefully learning from it) but it is time to uncloud my mind and heed the call of my inner spirit.

The judgment card shows up very often just as you're on the brink of a major life event. It is heralding the dawn of a new day. If you draw this card and it's message is not crystal clear to you, take it as a tip to sit quietly and listen to your spirit. Ten minutes of meditation daily will help you hear your heart's messages. If you are facing a major decision and pull Judgement, I'd advise slowing down and reviewing all of your options. Get clear about your feelings. Sometimes the best solution is not the one that makes the most logical sense, but only you can decide.

Ace of Cups Reversed

Meet the Ace of Cups, Reversed. The Card of the Day that practically guarantees an emotionally charged, difficult day. Aces are the "Power" cards of the minor arcana. When your card lands upright, an Ace is a wonderful harbinger of potential and positive activity in its realm. Reversed, as mine is today, it's got the power  but it makes for a much more challenging experience.

The suit of Cups is all about emotions, intuition, feelings and all matters of the heart. A reversed card tells of the disappointments, broken promises, hurt feelings, holding emotional emptiness, feeling sad or depressed.  This cup isn't overflowing with joy, its drained.

A reversed Ace of Cups can also be telling you that you've been holding your true feelings in check for too long and you are feeling stressed about it. You might have very good logical reasons for doing so, but you must ask yourself about the emotional toll it's taking.

The Card of Day  reading has an uncanny way of  influencing your day. I like to draw my card in the quiet of the morning and while I don't dwell on it, I try to stay observant for it's energies during the day. Today, this Ace made its self impossible to ignore. As my day started I was feeling energized and optimistic about taking a big bite out of a project I'm working on. Solidly stayed on track for about 3 hours.

Then an email  arrived, payment of an invoice for work I had done was not made on Friday as expected.  Trying not to take my annoyance out on the messenger, I asked why and stated that nonpayment was outside the work agreement. Poor guy said he had no knowledge of any agreement. There goes my equilibrium. This isn't the first time there has been payment issues. I believe he didn't know.  I am in this situation of my own choosing, I could remedy it by simply walking away.  Logically, that's not in my best interest right now. Emotionally, I'm really angry but after venting to a friend who knows all the details, I suck it back up and continue on.

Next up, my daughter drops by for an unexpected visit. I never see here often enough. I was looking forward to putting the pain-in-the-ass problem aside and enjoying her visit. That didn't quite go the way I thought. Her house has been out to get her this past month. Plumbing issues, fix. Dishwasher dies, fix. Another water issue that involved replacing a floor and coping with mold issues. Fix. Dead bolt eating keys, fix.... now, honestly, who ever had a deadbolt break? And then as if all that wasn't enough, a power blip of less than a minute two days ago fried her central air. Apparently that little blip killed a large number of air conditioners in our town and there are no parts to be had until later today.  We live in Texas. It's still 100 outside.  She has three cats and two ferrets, making a hotel impossible. And to make it worse, to fix the AC, a portion of the outside wall of her home will have to be cut away as it was improperly installed in the first place.

You can imagine how perky she was. Poor thing.

The balance of the day consisted of pesky coworkers who seemed to have left their brains at home. Getting distracted and burning cookies. Squabble over completely inane issue with my mother. Chiding myself for making cookies in the first place since I know that they are emotionally triggered self-soothing evil entities.

This is how a reversed Ace of Cups might play out. The details in your life will be different but I'm sure you'll recognize the patterns. For now I continue to wrestle with myself. I have no one but myself to point the finger at for this latest round of broken promises and emotional abuse and I do have this reversed Ace of Cups to thank for this realization. Until today, I had not crystallized the entire mess into coherent thought. It was just a spaghetti mess of feelings in a big deep bowl.  I am swallowing my anger and eating it in lovely buttery cookie form. This really isn't good.  I'm adding a new meaning for the reversed Ace of Cups to my personal tarot lexicon; emotional eating. Sometimes you can't escape the truth in the tarot.

Card of the Day-The Devil

As I was shuffling the cards this morning, my mind was shuffling through everything I want to accomplish today. I'm working on launching a new business, creating a website, deciding on packages of services, laundry, writing an article for a magazine, creating an ebook, vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom, catch up on Who Do You Think You Are, writing a blog post, what's for dinner, completing a lesson in a course I'm taking, reading my new books... in general way too many things to get done in the weekend never mind just today.

I do that alot. I work a full time job, care for an elderly parent, have a family I do like to spend time with and I absolutely have to get as close to 8-9 hours of sleep as possible to even function. It doesn't leave much time for all the other things I want to do for myself. So I'm often feeling like the candle is burning at both ends and I'm in the middle.

I'm shuffling and my card falls to the table. Ok, the universe is talking to me today. My card of the day today is The Devil. So, The Devil.  When I read for others, The Devil is one of the two cards that totally freaks people out; the other is Death. For whatever reason, I seldom draw this card but it doesn't freak me out. It's more like slamming the breaks on to avoid hitting the oncoming truck.  Time to take notice.

I always go with first impressions with tarot. Today that's overcast gloominess, emptiness and bondage to fear, oppression. The Devil represents temptation. Today it's temptation to let myself wander and not stay focused on my goals. I need to prioritize. Then there's also all the bondage. Despite being chained to the Devil, no one looks particularly anguished to me. One woman is even adoring looking up at the Devil. They're even capable of unchaining themselves (notice that their hands are not bound) and yet they choose not to. They've abdicated their personal power willingly.

 It reminds me of a horrific scene in the movie What Dreams May Come where Robin William's character has descended into the depths of deep, dark depression and madness in an attempt to rescue his wife. He must make his way through a seemingly endless landscape of moaning,screaming heads mired in muck. Apparently, free association with this card is going to reveal some pretty deep meaning for me.

This is the day I do not want to have. More than that, it is the life I no longer want to have. The Devil for me today is yet another proverbial hit over the head to get on with MY life. MY plans. Time to unchain my self. It's ironic to me, that this is the metaphor because I know one of my soul missions in this life time is to break the chain of negative, soul crushing emotional abuse that has been rampant in my childhood family dynamic forever. I don't often speak of it but when I do I use the words chain and chained. Go figure.   I've been getting these cosmic smacks to the head all summer. It's time to let go of the fear and believe.

The classic associations with The Devil usually involve being obsessed with material gain, sexuality, deceit, closing one's eyes to the truth of a situation, addiction. I would also add to this list: ignorance, abdication of power, lack of self esteem, avoidance, believing past emotional programming that does not serve one in the present, absence of faith, denial.

 What do you see in the Devil card? How does it play out in your readings? Can you ever see this traditionally negative card as having a positive impact?